Coming Back to Now: Practicing Contact with the Present Moment

It’s easy to lose touch with the present. Our minds pull us into the past with regrets or launch us into the future with worry. We can end up so distracted that we miss the moments right in front of us — our breath, our surroundings, the people we love.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the six key processes that help build psychological flexibility is Contact with the Present Moment. This is about learning to gently bring your attention back to the here and now, again and again, with openness and curiosity.

What Is Contact with the Present Moment?

Contact with the present moment is the ACT version of mindfulness — being consciously engaged with what’s happening right now, rather than being caught up in your head.

It’s not about clearing your mind or finding perfect peace. It’s about noticing what’s happening, both inside you and around you, and responding in a way that supports your values.

> "Where are my feet right now?

What am I doing right now?"

These two questions are often all it takes to come back to now.

Why It Matters

When we’re disconnected from the present:

We miss meaningful experiences

We act on autopilot

We get overwhelmed by thoughts and feelings

We react instead of respond

Present-moment awareness helps us respond more thoughtfully and stay anchored, especially when life feels chaotic or painful.

How to Practice It

Here are simple, practical ways to build this skill — no meditation cushion required.

1. Use the Five Senses

Take a moment to notice:

5 things you can see

4 things you can feel

3 things you can hear

2 things you can smell

1 thing you can taste

This exercise grounds you in your body and environment.

2. Do One Thing at a Time

Choose a task — brushing your teeth, making tea, walking the dog. Try doing it with full attention. If your mind wanders, gently return to the task. This is mindfulness in motion.

3. Name What You Notice

Say quietly to yourself:

> “I’m noticing the feeling of my feet on the floor.”

“I’m hearing birds outside.”

“I notice my breath is shallow.”

This helps shift you from thinking about your experience to being with your experience.

4. Connect with Your Breath

Take a slow breath. Then another. Try this anytime you feel pulled into the past or future. You can even pair it with a short mantra, like “Here now” on each exhale.

What It’s Not

It’s not about “fixing” your mood

It’s not about tuning out pain

It’s not about doing mindfulness perfectly

Contact with the present moment is about choosing to show up. Even if your thoughts are loud or your feelings are messy, you can still return to now.

Final Thoughts

Life happens in the present. When we train ourselves to come back to the moment, we make room for clarity, calm, and choice. It doesn’t need to be perfect or polished — it just needs to be real.

Try weaving one small mindfulness moment into your day. Then another. These moments add up.

Counselling Support

If you’d like help developing this skill or navigating strong emotions, I offer ACT-informed counselling in Cairns and online around the world. Book a session or get in touch to learn more.

Making Room for Difficult Emotions: Practicing acceptance

In life, discomfort is inevitable. Whether it's anxiety before a big decision, grief after a loss, or frustration when things don’t go as planned, we all experience painful emotions. Yet so many of us fall into the trap of trying to suppress or control them. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach — one rooted in making space for our inner experiences instead of fighting them.

This blog post explores Acceptance, one of the six core processes of the ACT Hexaflex, and how practicing it can help you live more fully, even when things feel messy or hard.

What Is Acceptance in ACT?

In the ACT model, acceptance means actively allowing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to be present without trying to avoid, change, or suppress them. This doesn’t mean you have to like or enjoy pain. It means you stop struggling with it, so you can use your energy to focus on what matters to you.

If you’ve ever tried to “just calm down” or “snap out of it,” you’ve experienced how control often backfires. Acceptance invites you to gently open up to your emotions with curiosity rather than resistance.

Why Acceptance Matters

When we resist or avoid our emotional pain, we tend to:

Withdraw from people and opportunities

Get stuck in worry or rumination

Engage in numbing habits (like overworking, scrolling, or overeating)

Practicing acceptance frees up energy. Instead of spending it on a losing battle with your inner world, you can redirect it toward meaningful action.

How to Practice Acceptance

Acceptance is a skill that takes practice. Here are some simple ways to get started.

1. Name What You’re Feeling

The first step is awareness. Instead of judging or suppressing the emotion, say:

> “I’m feeling anxious.”

“Sadness is here right now.”

“I notice a tightness in my chest.”

Naming the emotion helps create space between you and the feeling.

2. Notice Where It Lives in Your Body

Ask yourself:

> “Where do I feel this?”

“What does it feel like — a heaviness, a pressure, a flutter?”

Use slow breathing to stay with the sensation for a few moments. Let it move through you instead of pushing it away.

3. Drop the Struggle Metaphor

Imagine holding a beach ball under water. It takes constant effort. But if you let it float, it just exists. That’s what acceptance offers — less energy spent on suppression, more freedom to live.

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4. Use the ‘Yes, and’ Technique

Instead of “I feel afraid, but I have to do it,” try:

> “I feel afraid, and I’m still going to show up.”

This builds psychological flexibility — you’re not waiting for the feeling to go away before taking action.

What Acceptance Is Not

It’s not passivity or giving up

It’s not about liking or approving of pain

It’s not suppressing or ignoring emotions

Acceptance is a willingness to experience life as it is, so you can show up more fully for the things you care about.

Final Thoughts

Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering to suffering. It means making room for all parts of your experience, even the uncomfortable ones, so you can move toward your values with openness and strength.

This skill takes time. You won’t get it perfect — and you don’t need to. The goal is progress, not perfection.

Want to Explore This in Counselling?

Whether you're dealing with anxiety, stress, or emotional overwhelm, I can help you build skills like acceptance to improve your mental wellbeing. I offer counselling in Cairns and online across Australia. Feel free to book an appointment or reach out to see if we’re a good fit.

Unhooking Your Thoughts: Practicising Cognitive Defusion

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own head, replaying the same thought over and over, you’re not alone. Our minds are constantly generating stories, predictions, judgments, and worries. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the most transformative tools we can learn is called cognitive defusion. It’s all about how to unhook from those thoughts and take back control.

What Is Cognitive Defusion?

Cognitive defusion is one of the six core processes in the ACT Hexaflex, a model that supports psychological flexibility. That means the ability to stay present, manage difficult thoughts and emotions, and act in line with what really matters to us.

In simple terms, defusion means learning to see thoughts for what they are — just thoughts — not facts or commands. Instead of being pushed around by your inner dialogue, defusion helps you take a step back and choose how you want to respond.

For example:

Fused: “I’m a terrible parent.” You believe it, feel shame, and withdraw.

Defused: “I’m having the thought that I’m a terrible parent.” You notice the thought without letting it define you.

Why It Matters

When we fuse with unhelpful thoughts, we:

Get caught in worry and self-doubt

Avoid situations we care about

Miss out on opportunities for connection, growth, and change

Defusion doesn’t aim to get rid of difficult thoughts. It simply gives us space to respond more wisely, not react automatically.

How to Practice Cognitive Defusion

You don’t need to meditate for hours to experience the benefits. Try one of these simple, research-backed exercises today:

1. Label the Thought

Next time an unhelpful thought shows up, add this phrase:

> “I’m having the thought that…”

Example: “I’ll fail this interview” becomes “I’m having the thought that I’ll fail this interview.”

This creates distance and reduces the thought’s grip.

2. Say It in a Silly Voice

Say the thought out loud using a cartoon or robot voice.

It sounds ridiculous, and that’s the point. It helps you see the thought for what it is: just a mental event.

3. Write It Down

Jot the thought on a sticky note and carry it with you. Whenever it pops up in your day, look at the note and remind yourself,

> “This is just something my mind says sometimes.”

4. Thank Your Mind

When your mind starts spinning stories, gently say,

> “Thanks, Mind. That’s an interesting one.”

It’s a kind way to acknowledge your thoughts without giving them control.

5. Leaves on a Stream (Mindfulness Exercise)

Close your eyes and imagine sitting beside a stream.

Each time a thought arises, imagine placing it on a leaf and watching it float by.

No need to hold on. No need to push it away. Just let it pass.

A Quick Reminder

Defusion isn’t about “thinking positively” or trying to force away uncomfortable thoughts. It’s about changing your relationship to them, so you can stay grounded in the present and move toward what matters to you.

Want to Go Deeper?

If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you explore these tools in counselling sessions. I work in-person in Cairns and online across Australia. Feel free to book an appointment or reach out to find out more.