Unhooking Your Thoughts: Practicising Cognitive Defusion
If you’ve ever felt stuck in your own head, replaying the same thought over and over, you’re not alone. Our minds are constantly generating stories, predictions, judgments, and worries. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), one of the most transformative tools we can learn is called cognitive defusion. It’s all about how to unhook from those thoughts and take back control.
What Is Cognitive Defusion?
Cognitive defusion is one of the six core processes in the ACT Hexaflex, a model that supports psychological flexibility. That means the ability to stay present, manage difficult thoughts and emotions, and act in line with what really matters to us.
In simple terms, defusion means learning to see thoughts for what they are — just thoughts — not facts or commands. Instead of being pushed around by your inner dialogue, defusion helps you take a step back and choose how you want to respond.
For example:
Fused: “I’m a terrible parent.” You believe it, feel shame, and withdraw.
Defused: “I’m having the thought that I’m a terrible parent.” You notice the thought without letting it define you.
Why It Matters
When we fuse with unhelpful thoughts, we:
Get caught in worry and self-doubt
Avoid situations we care about
Miss out on opportunities for connection, growth, and change
Defusion doesn’t aim to get rid of difficult thoughts. It simply gives us space to respond more wisely, not react automatically.
How to Practice Cognitive Defusion
You don’t need to meditate for hours to experience the benefits. Try one of these simple, research-backed exercises today:
1. Label the Thought
Next time an unhelpful thought shows up, add this phrase:
> “I’m having the thought that…”
Example: “I’ll fail this interview” becomes “I’m having the thought that I’ll fail this interview.”
This creates distance and reduces the thought’s grip.
2. Say It in a Silly Voice
Say the thought out loud using a cartoon or robot voice.
It sounds ridiculous, and that’s the point. It helps you see the thought for what it is: just a mental event.
3. Write It Down
Jot the thought on a sticky note and carry it with you. Whenever it pops up in your day, look at the note and remind yourself,
> “This is just something my mind says sometimes.”
4. Thank Your Mind
When your mind starts spinning stories, gently say,
> “Thanks, Mind. That’s an interesting one.”
It’s a kind way to acknowledge your thoughts without giving them control.
5. Leaves on a Stream (Mindfulness Exercise)
Close your eyes and imagine sitting beside a stream.
Each time a thought arises, imagine placing it on a leaf and watching it float by.
No need to hold on. No need to push it away. Just let it pass.
A Quick Reminder
Defusion isn’t about “thinking positively” or trying to force away uncomfortable thoughts. It’s about changing your relationship to them, so you can stay grounded in the present and move toward what matters to you.
Want to Go Deeper?
If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you explore these tools in counselling sessions. I work in-person in Cairns and online across Australia. Feel free to book an appointment or reach out to find out more.
