Making Room for Difficult Emotions: Practicing acceptance
In life, discomfort is inevitable. Whether it's anxiety before a big decision, grief after a loss, or frustration when things don’t go as planned, we all experience painful emotions. Yet so many of us fall into the trap of trying to suppress or control them. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) offers a different approach — one rooted in making space for our inner experiences instead of fighting them.
This blog post explores Acceptance, one of the six core processes of the ACT Hexaflex, and how practicing it can help you live more fully, even when things feel messy or hard.
What Is Acceptance in ACT?
In the ACT model, acceptance means actively allowing uncomfortable thoughts and feelings to be present without trying to avoid, change, or suppress them. This doesn’t mean you have to like or enjoy pain. It means you stop struggling with it, so you can use your energy to focus on what matters to you.
If you’ve ever tried to “just calm down” or “snap out of it,” you’ve experienced how control often backfires. Acceptance invites you to gently open up to your emotions with curiosity rather than resistance.
Why Acceptance Matters
When we resist or avoid our emotional pain, we tend to:
Withdraw from people and opportunities
Get stuck in worry or rumination
Engage in numbing habits (like overworking, scrolling, or overeating)
Practicing acceptance frees up energy. Instead of spending it on a losing battle with your inner world, you can redirect it toward meaningful action.
How to Practice Acceptance
Acceptance is a skill that takes practice. Here are some simple ways to get started.
1. Name What You’re Feeling
The first step is awareness. Instead of judging or suppressing the emotion, say:
> “I’m feeling anxious.”
“Sadness is here right now.”
“I notice a tightness in my chest.”
Naming the emotion helps create space between you and the feeling.
2. Notice Where It Lives in Your Body
Ask yourself:
> “Where do I feel this?”
“What does it feel like — a heaviness, a pressure, a flutter?”
Use slow breathing to stay with the sensation for a few moments. Let it move through you instead of pushing it away.
3. Drop the Struggle Metaphor
Imagine holding a beach ball under water. It takes constant effort. But if you let it float, it just exists. That’s what acceptance offers — less energy spent on suppression, more freedom to live.
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4. Use the ‘Yes, and’ Technique
Instead of “I feel afraid, but I have to do it,” try:
> “I feel afraid, and I’m still going to show up.”
This builds psychological flexibility — you’re not waiting for the feeling to go away before taking action.
What Acceptance Is Not
It’s not passivity or giving up
It’s not about liking or approving of pain
It’s not suppressing or ignoring emotions
Acceptance is a willingness to experience life as it is, so you can show up more fully for the things you care about.
Final Thoughts
Acceptance doesn’t mean surrendering to suffering. It means making room for all parts of your experience, even the uncomfortable ones, so you can move toward your values with openness and strength.
This skill takes time. You won’t get it perfect — and you don’t need to. The goal is progress, not perfection.
Want to Explore This in Counselling?
Whether you're dealing with anxiety, stress, or emotional overwhelm, I can help you build skills like acceptance to improve your mental wellbeing. I offer counselling in Cairns and online across Australia. Feel free to book an appointment or reach out to see if we’re a good fit.
